What? I know right? *Complaining post! Heads up!*

Yeah. So I don't really want to post. But I shall, since I haven't in a while. To top start things off, here's an overview of my week so far.

Monday: Wake up, get yelled at, go to school, ton of homework, come home.

Tuesday: Wake up, get yelled at some more, crappy day at school, got a 4th tardy from my stupid English teacher who only happens to count my tardies but not the other kids', had to go to the doctor who thought Landon (obnoxious 6 year old cousin) was my brother, came home, got yelled at more.

Today: Wake up. Got yelled at again, FOR 30 FREAKING MINUTES. (I swear, I was on the verge of punching my mother.) Ate breakfast. Mom is still yelling. She takes me to school, still yelling! Got to school, so pissed off from listening to my mother all morning. In 4th hour, got called down to the office for an ASD. I don't get ASD's. I CAN'T get ASD's. I am so beyond dead. In art, we hear that a kid that I know is missing and possibly committed suicide. I didn't know the kid that well, but it freaked me out. I'm still kinda freaked out from Logan so this other kid's possible suicidal attempt scared the hell out of me.. (They later found him alive, thank goodness.) In STAR (homeroom/advisory/whatever you want to call it) got grade cards. 5 C's and 2 B's. I am even more beyond dead. I am at the lowest level of dead.

So today, pretty much blew. I can't decide if I should tell my mom about my ASD and get grounded for life, or if I should lie and say I have to study... which she would probably eventually find out about and I'd be in more trouble...

My prediction for the rest of my high school life: Getting yelled at. Coming home. Getting yelled at. Parents will fight, then I'll get yelled at. Then I'll be "late to bed" and get yelled at again. Then I'll be told how I can't be trusted and I'm not going to have a life, and I'm going to end up on the street, homeless. (It's usually only my mom who yells. My dad is the one who has anger issues. They both ground me all the time. I'm immune to it though. But anyways, it's my mom who pisses me off.) It's like... a never ending cycle.

It sucks.

I'm not looking forward to getting my liscense. Well I am, but I'm not. When my sister was in high school... my mom would call her about 4 minutes after school got out and started yelling and screaming why she wasn't home yet. yeah. That's what I get to look forward to.

My sister said to me, "You know, you're always welcome to stay with us." Yeah. I might take up that offer. PERMANENTLY.

Gee. My mom wants me to get good grades. Too bad she grounds me if I work on homework past like.. 8. Meghan is becoming so... arrogant, and Jacob.... ugh. Don't even let me start.

Woah. I'm sorry if you're reading this. I just don't tell anyone about this, so it all kind of builds up and explodes. I hate complaining because nobody cares anyway, so why even bother?

On the bright side today, my Physical Sciece student teacher informed me that I made it into Honors Biology. :D Yay! Sweet! See Desiree? I don't need you're stupid book.. I passed all on my own. I want to tell my parents, but I am waiting.. for this...

"Mom, by the way, I have an ASD thanks to my stupid teacher. MY grades also suck. BUT..... I made it into honors biology! So shut up! And be happy!. Or I'll duck tape you to a sock and stick you in your own shoe.

But what's actually going to happen is this:

Me: I have an ASD butdontworryaboutit! It's on thursday and wegotgradecheckstoday.... I have 5 C's.... But.. I MADE IT! INTO! HONORS! BIOLOGY!!!

Her: KELSEY NICOLE! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOREVER! (she always says that, never means it.) WHY THE HELL DID YOU GET AN ASD! DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT.. blah blah blah blah blah... ^insert boring lecture here^ YOU'RE SUCH A... blah blah blah ^insert mean words here^

Me: *Blankly stares at the wall.

Her: WOULD YOU ANSWER ME!

Me: Why even bother. You're just going to tell me what a bad person I am anyways, so why don't we just skip right to that.

You know, because of my mom, I don't like talking to people very much anymore. I don't even try to do well in school, because it's never good enough for her. I'm so much more shy now than I've ever been in my entire life.

And today I get in the car, and she says, "you look angry." Then she started laughing at me and poking.

I don't have a close relationship with my mom. At all. Our car rides consist of silence. When she talks, it's always about school work or she always complains to me about having no free time. (She stays at home all day on her computer. Boo hoo for her.. you know, some parents actually WORK unlike that lazy sloth.) Now I know where I get my complaining skills. :/ Sorry for all reading this. Though I don't know why you would.

I don't see the point in telling people stuff. It's all drama. Like this. It's retarded. Even though it hurts, it's so stupid. I'm not going to ruin someone else's day.

Oh I felt like adding this. Both of my parents go through my stuff. I can't keep journals, or anything personal because they go through all of it. A couple months ago, I wrote on an index card all of the things that were on my mind, just to get it all out. I stuck it in a book, put the book on my shelf. I come home from school, and what do I find? The index card on the floor, with a note attatched that my mom wrote about all the things I did wrong. Yeah. I was so beyond pissed off.

My dad, has an internet blocker set up. So like blogger, is blocked. Lucky for me, I know how to get around all of his stupid filters. Also, any file I save on my laptop, he goes through and reads it from a different computer. I don't know.. how the hell he does it. When he grounds me, he gets on my computer and snoops around. Several times he's read and SAVED my facebook chats with OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! There was one chat. That he saved. It was so personal to the other person... and my dad thought they were suicidal. I got so mad, I just broke down crying because I had no way to even begin to describe my anger. I've never been so mad at him in my life.

My sister had to go through all of this too. A few weeks ago, I spent the weekend with my sister. I just said to her "You know, I don't want to have kids because I'm afraid I'm going to raise them like mom raised us. I'd be a horrible mother because I would never know how to raise them any other way." You know what she said? She was like, I know. That's the exact same thing I always think about.

She affects everyone. I would be dead if she saw this, but she won't. Blogger is the one place that where I can write things like this, and not have it read by them. Amen for blogger, sorry for my readers. I've just had to deal with this a lot more lately.

Oh, I'm going to try out for the soccer team. That will be fun. I'm friends with most of the girls who are trying out. But DON'T SAY ANYTHING about it to Meghan, or Jacob, or anyone. Because I just don't want Meghan to know. She'll be all nosy and try to do it better than me, which is like her favorite thing to do.

Mhm forget singles skating, I'm moved on to bigger and better things. I am in love with Pairs skating/Ice Dancing. Laugh if you want, but it's gorgeous. Did y'all (look at me, I'm southern!) see the gold medalists' pairs ice dancing performance? It was amazing! When I saw it, I knew they had the gold. I was right! (That's a first..) Yay for Canada for taking the gold. :)

*EDIT: Dad said to me, "if you're not in bed at ten you're grounded. That's 30 minutes. Hurry up. Or I'm taking all of your electronic devices away." Well, look who's getting grounded. That would be me. Guess who doesn't care.... still me. Guess I'm grounding my self in a way. A bed time is retarded, and unnecessary for a high schooler. So. Go ahead and ground me, that's nothing new. He can ground me all he wants, but it has no effect on me.

Soccer + pairs figure skating + honors biology = A Very Happy Kelsey :)